Tuesday, 17 May 2011

A Man Barely alive...

Oh My God! I've just been on Amazon and was looking at their recommendations- and I can't believe what they've suggested I'd want; THREE movies reuniting the Six million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman.

Sometimes I think Amazon know me better than my actual friends...

OF COURSE I WANT THEM !!!

For the last year or so I've often thought to myself, wouldn't it be great if they made a film with the Bionic Woman accidently bumping into Steve Austin ( a man barely alive ). I kind of imagined that his bionics were breaking up, and her bionic ear would be giving her some jip. Still; they'd sit down and reminisce over their past adventures, and all the time it turns out it actually exists...

The first film; Return of The Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (?) was made in 1987, the second film was made in 1989 and co-stars Sandra Bullock as the latest Bionic Agent , and the last film Bionic Ever After made in 1994 has Jamie Summers and Steve Austin tie the knot, how come nobody told me about this ? I mean I loved the Six Million Dollar Man, he was so cool , and bionics aside ; he's the only man I know who can make a red track suit look sexy...

I remember when the Bionic Woman appeared in a two part episode on The Six Million Dollar Man  ( before she got her own show ). In her first incarnation her body rejected her bionics, not sure; but I think she actually died ? I remember vividly her trying to escape from the hospital running madly down the corridors flinging herself through those plastic flip flap doors.

 I was at junior school at the time , and remember I was on the way to the library and I was flinging myself through the same type of plastic doors a la Jamie Summers. I thought no one could see me, but then I noticed my friend Tanya looking at me, and I remember her saying rather sadly, " oh Martin I know who you think you are, you think you're the bionic woman". I couldn't even try to deny it as at that moment I was clutching my head trying to stop the pain of my malfunctioning bionic ear. That's when I realised , If I wanted to get through my schooldays alive I was going to have to start reigning it in. I was 10...

Sunday, 8 May 2011

Easy like a Sunday morning...

Thought I'd put up some photo's of the latest acquisition to my Paul collection...

Paul is the original boyfriend to Sindy doll, and for a boy doll he's got some really cool clothes, but the holy grail for collectors is Pauls string vest and Y fronts , and now they're mine - All Mine !! Quite pleased with the photo's ; I took them in a hurry this morning and they've come out like a poor man's Bruce Weber, not bad...Kind of reminds me of that TV ad for some bank; years ago. where they had that good looking guy moping about in his undies with his white cat whilst they played 'Easy like a Sunday morning' on the soundtrack, Paul's got the same vibe going on.

Sunday, 1 May 2011

fingers on buzzers...

Here's your starter for ten:

Which artist won two awards at last weeks Royal Society of Painter-Printmakers Annual Exhibition ?

Buzzzz

That's right - ME !

can you believe it, I guess prizes are like buses; you wait forever for one and then two come at once. I won the Aberystwyth University Purchase Prize and The Hector Purchase Prize, and the best thing, is that one of the prizes was cash !! I nearly fainted when I opened the envelope on the bus coming home, ooh which reminds ; the next morning my friend Gillian who was staying with me, came into my room to get me out of bed so we could watch the Royal Wedding together - and I just couldn't move ! Everytime I tried to get my head up off the pillow I felt like fainting. Apparently I had Vertigo ? I didn't know you could get Vertigo just lying down , I always thought you could only get it from hanging from a roof top like James Stewart in that film er, uhm - Vertigo.


Picture round : Bamber Gascoigne, Hilary Paynter PRE, Bren Unwin and moi
Anyway, back to my prizes ( did I tell you I won two ?), The really lovely thing about the evening was that the show was opened by Bamber Gascoigne, who; if you're as old as me; will remember him from University Challenge - pre Paxman. He presented all the prizes to the winners - and there was quite a few of us, and was utterly charming. Can't imagine old Paxman doing that, although I could be wrong. I remember one year I sat down next to Jeremy Paxman at the church service to bless artists on the morning of Varnishing day for the Royal Academy's Summer Show, he took one look at me; grabbed his coat and went off and sat some where else - I hadn't even started singing ?

Right, I'm off now to Argos to buy a sonic toothbrush with my winnings